Babies, Booze & Boobs

Influencing a man's perspective for centuries


Today, at approximately 5:30 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, The Babies are coming.

Life as we all know it will be changed forever. You’ve been warned.

Live update, 11:52 am – pedicure for both of us. This massage chair feels more like an ape’s knuckles than soothing rollers. I think this Asian chick just told her co-worker that my toe nails smell like death.

Live update, 1:19 pm – the Asian chick was Vietnamese. And the calf massage was orgasmic.

Update, 3/2/11 7:00 am – Mom and The Babies are all healthy. The B00bs underwent a C-section and the doctors ripped out Baby Boy at 5:56 pm last night, then yanked out Baby Girl. Other than the blood on the floor and smoke rising from the abdomen of my wife during the procedure, everything seemed pretty normal.

The Boy and I came home after things settled down. I picked him up from my parents at about 10:45 last night. He was still up, which is against anything that I would’ve hoped for. From the sounds of it, he watched Mater’s Tall Tales twice and at least one other movie. Also, against anything I would’ve hoped for. I stopped by Jack in the Box for a late dinner, tucked The Boy in and got my mind off things with some Southland.

My head crushed the pillow at 1 a.m. For some damn reason, I was up at 6:30 this morning. Thanks for nothing, biological clock. I’M NOT WORKING ANYMORE, GET THE MEMO!


3 responses to “D-Day

  1. Sam 03/01/2011 at 9:11 pm

    congrats man!!!!!!! Baby central.

    Nelson, “Ha-Ha!”

  2. Pingback: Memo to The Boy: Jacque Cousteau you are NOT « Babies, Booze & Boobs

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